New Moon December 2021

Day 4/30 Of Sacred Cacao

The last new moon for 2021 was in Sagittarius and asked us to be clear and precise with our truth, to really step into our authentic self and embrace who we are when we strip away all of our should's, could's and would's.

Have you asked yourself this question?

Who am I under the constructs of societies expectations of me, of my family, friends colleagues and strangers expectations of me?

Its a very big and valid question that can leave us raw and uncentered.

I had a conversation about this with a dear friend over some delish local tea. She has been going through a shadow self release and discovery, the very deepest messy and vulnerable kind, life changing shifts. She was at a point of not knowing who she was under all the people pleasing, the expectations, the mask we wear to be within the construct of society. She got me thinking about that myself.

I am a people pleaser when it comes to my work. I over extend myself and over commit. To please, for fear of missing out. That's the key word here I am finding. FEAR! We don these masks of happy, pleaser, fawn, lady like, pleasant, strong, committed and the list goes on and on, out of fear. Fear of being seen or not, fear of missing an opportunity, fear of being liked or not liked. Forgetting who we are, what we love, what we like and don't like, punishing ourselves for wanting those things and repressing them amidst the worry of what others think.

I want to be in my full self, I want others to be in their full selves. So I sat with all of this and I delayed my cacao month posts and felt all the feels that came with it.

My goal with cacao is to share its amazing healing beauty with the world. To be authentically me and that means sometimes I don't feel like posting. That the honest truth is that I have created the month of Sacred Cacao based on a mans world cycle, a 24 hour cycle and I have forgotten to honor my own cycle, my 31 day cycle.

And so here we are a couple of weeks out from my last post and I feel good with it.

Note: A must read for any woman wanting to learn more about our cycles and how to integrate them into our everyday lives is Do Less by Kate Northrup . A life changing read!

I'll continue to finish the month of cacao and learn from it even more than I have. I'll adapt and morph and grow in this space, honoring my true self, sharing my light unapologetically. Because that's what we need. We need more true selves, we need more genuine creativity unabashedly expressed without a care in the world of what others think, those who seek it will find it and it will be glorious when they do.

So to answer the big uncomfortable question above.

Who am I underneath it all?

I am Freya. kind, mostly happy but have a deep shadow side that I need to nurture and keep in balance. I am love and creativeness. I am spiritual. I am cyclic. I am messy mentally. I am learning to love myself as I am more and more, I am loud and yet sensitive to noise. I am no longer angry, but sometimes I am a little sad. I am a truth speaker and a joy seeker. No apologies!

Its a lot of work to undo all we have been conditioned to be, but its worth it, its worth coming back to self and reminding ourselves of who we really are and what we really want because its so easy to slip back into the old ways when you are surrounded by it.

The more you practice the better you'll feel and the less you'll slip back, and so in turn the more balanced the world will become, with more feminine cyclic expression.

Thank you Sagittarius New Moon for shining light on my shadows and encouraging me to set intentions of authenticity.